Abuse via proxy

There are many forms of abuse: sexual, physical and emotional. But there’s a form of emotional abuse few people are aware of: abuse via proxy. Some articles and vlogs also refer to similar concepts like triangulation and flying monkeys. Triangulation is where the abuser won’t speak with the target but uses others to do his…

Why we must educate the young about emotional abuse

  We’ve all heard about the horrific levels of sexual abuse perpetrated on children. However, there’s a form of abuse that largely flies under the radar undetected: emotional abuse. Emotional abuse isn’t only confined to places like the workplace or school. Abuse isn’t only the in-your-face-type of abuse where someone screams at you. Most of…

Why the ‘mean girl’ is dangerous

Unlike their more introverted counterpart, overt female narcissists stick out like sore thumbs. They’re the alpha female, women who want to be the smartest, the most attractive or whatever. Signs of a female narcissist Catty, shallow and unprincipled Love being at the centre of drama Make a good impression with the people who matter to them Can…

Reasons why the covert introverted narcissist is dangerous

Beware of the covert introverted female narcissist Most introverts are terrific people. However, there’s another type of introvert that who are just as exploitative, unemphatic and entitled as their extrovert counterpart. In our media age, unless you’ve been living on a rock, we’ve all heard about selfies and narcissism. Glamourous photographs of beautiful men or…

How to deal with manipulators (part 2)

Quick summary                                                                                                 Narcissistic abuse is so prevalent in our culture that it’s often difficult to recognise when we fall victim to it.  There is, however, nothing normal about abuse. It can come in many shapes and forms: ·        People who use passive aggressive gestures ·        Emotional predators ·     …

How to deal effectively with manipulators (part 1)

Dealing with difficult people (Part 1) Judgmental people We all judge others. Sometimes we get it right; sometimes we don’t. Hopefully, when we get it wrong, we are able to admit this to ourselves. However, judgemental people will never admit that any of their judgements are faulty. These people only see things only in black and white. They’re always…

How to deal with a workplace psychopath

Long read 2,815 words Case study For many people, working with psychopaths is a long and isolating experience. This was Sandra’s experience, working in a private-sector firm. Sandra had recently joined the firm. The company was a large one that occupied an expansive, open-planned office in the city. It wasn’t a job that she was…

A wolf in sheeps clothing

Sarah* was surrounded by strong personalities who systematically devalued her role, and that of her colleagues, in the workplace. Frustrated by the lack of recognition and plagued by insecurity, she consulted a psychologist. It was during this conversation she confided that senior staff bullied junior staff. Staff without elite connections were bullied and often left…